Shameless

So... as I type this, I am sitting in a pool side chair on the last day of my family's week long vacation to Hilton Head.

I just watched my own Aunt bribe her 1.5 year old granddaughter with a goldfish cracker to get a kiss. Which, sadly, she did not receive. But young Sara got a cracker anyway. Cause that's how grandkids roll. And grandparents who live in a different city from their grandkids are only too happy to do whatever it takes to get some affection and attention. Much like Cool Aunts.

Earlier today, we were sitting at the table eating lunch and I decided it would be fun to start counting like The Count from Sesame Street. I'll be honest, it didn't seem like fun so much as a promising attempt to draw my niece's attention with overt Sesame Street references. And it worked like gangbusters. I was the hit of the lunch. We counted mouthfuls of mac 'n cheese (one mouthful of mac n cheese in zoe's mouth mwah ah ah! TWO mouthfuls of mac n cheese in zoe's mouth mwah ha ha ha!) and then we counted pieces of cantelope. We counted flowers on her shirt. We counted the number of forks on the table. (There was only one, so that was a short game.) It was a shining moment of attention for me and only one of the many I have attempted over the course of this week long vacation. "Aunt Sheri, you so funny!" YES!!!!

At the beginning of the week, I tried some succesful methods I scored with on my last visit home. That included my own special rendition of "C" is for Cookie... "Z" is for Zoe, that's good enough for me." Then there was Little Bunny Foo Foo. She loved LBFF last time I was home. This time, not so much. I got a very emphatic "Aunt Sheri no can sing!" most times when I tried.

I tried to play "Pass the Zoe" in the pool with her mother. That died a quick and painful death and put me in a two day time-out. "Aunt Sheri is taking a break!" she announced to my sister, implying that it was time for me to take a break from swimming with her. I must have really needed that break, because when I woke up the next day and came down to the pool, she announced that I would be taking a break again before I even said good morning. "Aunt Sheri is taking a break," she said cheerfully to my sister. Boo says Aunt Sheri. But what my niece wants, she gets. At least, from Aunt Sheri!

Finally, yesterday I achieved success. Dubious success, but success none the less. We were in the pool together at the end of the day and I was struck with inspiration. "Zoe," I shouted with drama. "Wanna see Aunt Sheri disappear?" She was enthusiastic at the prospect, which I decided not to take personally. I swam on my back to the center of the pool and, after counting to three, lifted one leg and both arms into the air and sank below the water.

I returned triumphantly to the surface and was met with the desired reaction. She was excited, she was laughing, she was PAYING ATTENTION TO ME! So, naturally, when she said "again" I was down!

And that was the rest of the day. "Aunt Sheri can disappear again!" okay... only if you count to three for me. "Aunt Sheri can disappear again!" okaaaaayyyyy... "Aunt Sheri can disappear again! One two threeeeee!"

I'm not gonna lie. I thought it would get old. I did. To stave off the boredom, I spiced it up occasionally with a mid-water somersault and handstand. They were met with mild delight, but nothing was as great as Aunt Sheri disappearing. Again, I tried not to read too much into it and performed like the trained aunt I am over and over and over and over. And it didn't get old. It really didn't ever get old.

We got out of the pool later that afternoon after countless disappearances. First thing this morning, when I walked out to the pool in my workout clothes, Zoe shouted "Aunt Sheri can disappear again!"

I gotta say, it's a real feeling of accomplishment to have carved out a place in my niece's mental list of fun things to watch and do. I only get to see her a few times a year and I like knowing that she might remember me when I'm not around. Until I can take her shopping and sympathize with her when her mother is unreasonable, this kind of stuff is all I have that may make a lasting impression. So if I have to repeat the same impressions over and over, whistle on occasion, (which always commands her attention and prompts her "tweet tweet" as she tries to imitate me) and sink into the pool time and again until my eyes burn with chlorine, (see how I get to do the Jewish martyr thing?) I will do it any chance I get.

Cause tomorrow, Aunt Sheri disappears for real. At least until August. When she will have to start from scratch and look for new methods of inspiring her niece's delight.

Gotta start watching Dora so I can do a Dora impression. See? I will do ANYTHING!